I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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