love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
