walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
