3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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