I will die if light touches me.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
