I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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