Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
