I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you will always have a special place in my vag
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
