Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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