if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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