ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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