We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
