This girl is more easily done than said...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
