community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
