So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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