Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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