So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
