butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize