Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
