Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
