we're blogging at a bar
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
