Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
