Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just cropdusted the office
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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