I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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