I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
