you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize