the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
