This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you had me at cake vodka
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize