you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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