That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
