Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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