508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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