I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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