I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
