he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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