There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
