U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize