Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
do nipples grow back?
why is half of my head shaved?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
