Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
