I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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