I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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