She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
