I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
