Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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