He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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