Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
