ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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