I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
