I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
