if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
