I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize