i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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