Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
