how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
