sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
