My room smells like vodka and shame
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
