My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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