I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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