Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
