Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
