how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize