Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
