he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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